The “I AM”

Hey Fam!

Soooooo, it’s 2:56 am and I had to write this as an encouragement for myself and possibly others.

I’m going to be real, I’m in the midst of a scary transition and it’s painful.

I find myself telling the Lord “Nothing is the same.”

Relationships are changing.

I’m about to move away from my loved ones.

I’m simply overwhelmed (aka... OVER ITTTTTTTTTTTT).

It’s difficult to navigate through these swift transitions, then I remember … I am not alone.

Y’all remember the story in Exodus 3?

Well, for those of you who don’t here’s a quick recap.

Moses was chillin, minding his business then noticed a burning bush. He thought it was cool, so he walked towards it. When he did, God spoke directly to him and instructed him to take off his sandals because he’s standing on

“Holy Ground.”

As a sign of reverence (awe), Moses covered his face in the Lord’s presence.

The Lord started with confirming and validating his feelings about what the Egyptians and nem’ were doing to the Israelites. Then continued with a promise of “a land flowing with milk and honey.” The Lord also highlighted …. currently, the “ites” Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites, and Jebusites (in other words, the bad guys) live there.

Moses was scared out of his mind because the Lord told him to do something, and he responded with his insecurities FIRST. The Lord told Moses he was going to lead the people dem (haha, excuse my Jamaican ebonics) into the promise land.

Moses had a plethora of excuses and tried to change God’s mind (Ha, don’t we all? Smh).

The Lord’s response to Moses’ fear was BOSS. He hit him with “Tell them THE I AM THAT I AM SENT YOU.” The definition of “I AM” in that scripture is “to exist, be in existence.”

In other words, God was reminding Moses he exists NOW, existed BEFORE, and will ALWAYS exist.

So, no matter what trial they face in the process, he will carry them through.

Now let’s apply this to our everyday lives…

When facing trauma, it can feel like the “ites” aka the bad guys (flashbacks, triggers, trauma responses, distorted thoughts, anxiety, fear, anger etc.) have more authority than the healing God promised you.

This is a lie straight from the devil.

Fam…

God is not going to promise you something without giving you tools and wisdom on how to execute the plan.

1. Your doubt and insecurities are real! Just like he did with Moses, he will validate and normalize your feelings. (You are not expected to forget or suppress them.)

2. He will REMIND you who to lean on in the process (AAAANNNND, that's not you. Don't lean on your own understanding).

3. Fear will try to sabotage you out of freedom, but remember you have the “I AM” on the scene.

Fam, as we close out 2021, I know it’s been hard for most of us… making the decision to HEAL in spite of your circumstances takes courage, and you DID IT.

You are not alone in the process, he is WITH you. You are not expected to fight the battle alone. I believe Moses’ fear came from thinking he had to do it alone … and he didn’t.

The Lord is not demanding you to “figure it out” he’s going to fight the battle, but you have to show up. Don’t just show up to therapy fam, do the work. Get to the root of the patterns in your behavior. Sit with the pain you experienced in your past. It’s gon’ hurt, trust me … but it’s WORTH IT.

The generations after you won’t have to suffer anymore. God is equipping YOU for the assignment to break the generational trauma in your family.

My dear brothers and sisters,

transition well into the new year.

Resolve you’re hurting.

Face it and process your emotions.

Your “land of milk and honey” is emotional and mental rest.

Keep pressing fam, freedom is waiting for you on the other side.

I’ll close with a few verses from one of my favorite songs

God is the joy and the strength of my life, Removes all pain, misery and strife, He promised to keep me, never to leave me, He'll never, never fall short of His word. I've got to fast and pray, Stay in that narrow way, I'll keep my life clean everyday, I want to go with Him, when He comes back, I've come too far and I'll never turn back. God is, God is, God is, God is, God is my all and all. God is my all and all. God is my all and all.

Family, he IS your ALL and ALL. He’s everything you need as you face your past trauma. He is your all and all as you navigate through grief. He is your all and all as you adjust to this new season in your life. He will never leave you, nor forsake you. He loves you more than you love yourself.

Stay in there, you got this because HE has YOU.

Love y’all,

C-A. Brown